HOW MUCH SHOULD YOU REALLY TELL THE IN-LAWS?


The question I have asked a couple of my friends is this: Is telling the In-laws a lot about yourself and your family a curse or a blessing?  I know what the answer is from my personal experience but I will like to hear from other wives and married women.

Before I got married, I had some issues with family. I will share some of my stories as I go along. When I met my husband’s family, I felt so much love and I was so thrilled to be a part of the family. I liked their definition of what a real family should be like and this I didn’t get much of growing up.
In courtship, I started to tell my In-laws a lot about my family and some of the problems I faced growing up (Trust me I told all and didn’t leave anything out). They listened and tried to encourage me and even promised to ensure things will get better and that they will stick with me. Again, I thought I had the best in-laws any girl could possibly dream of. I remember a friend of mine told me she used to envy my relationship with my In-laws and wanted what I had. It took me a long time to tell her what was going on and I eventually replied her one day with the phrase: Be careful what you wish for because you NEVER KNOW. All looks rosy on the outside but a Mess inside.

Fast forward to getting married, things were good in the beginning and I felt that God really answered my prayers and provided me with the right family. I thought I got the support I needed because even when my husband wandered away they were there. Oh Boy!!!!  I was so wrong. Things took a turn for the worse when my mother in law decided I was not what they actually wanted (This is a story for another day. Still waiting for the right time to share). This is when all hell broke loose and my stories which I had told them in the past was used to taunt me and make me look like the villain.
I sit back sometimes and I feel really bad for my family because if only I had held back and not been too quick to talk about my family, just maybe it would not have hurt so badly.

So here are a few pointers for ladies about to get married and those already married:

  •        It is OK to tell the IN-LAWS about your family BUT if it is not something they need to know then please you are not obliged to tell them.
  •      No matter how bad your family is, try not to put them down with the In-laws. It really comes back to haunt you.
  •      Some women might have the best in-laws ever (I have a few friends who do) but trust me majority will fall in my category.
  •      Treat the in-laws with respect but do not let them control you. If you do, it will also come back to haunt you.
  •       You should be in control all the time, the moment you lose control of your marriage, you lose control of yourself.
  •      Your in-laws don’t have to like you, all you owe them is respect n vice versa.


     I wish you all the best in this journey called MARRIAGE and remember to always put God at the center of you home. 

 P.S: My next post will be a letter to my mother in law. Feel free to share your experiences as this will help others going through similar situations.

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